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| happy new year, i guess.
its been a few months since ive written in here. i almost feel obligated to leave something semi-worthwhile considering the new year and all. but at the same time, the whole concept of a "new year" seems slightly overrated. i miss my old layout, but when i signed in, it was screwed up so i had to change it. its seems unconsequential though considering i never use this.
im relieved that my college application process is over. all that is left is waiting for the responses.. and of course, filling out scholarship applications. it feels like such a never-ending process.
ive made a few resolutions for myself, as i do every year. i just hope this year i will be able to accomplish them, rather than regret not doing them in december. most of the ones i have for this year have been carried over from last year.. there doesnt seem like enough time to actually do everything.
for january, the weather seems more like march or april. it isnt as cold as it should be, and there isnt snow. i dont particularly like freezing temperatures or snow, but both are appropriate for the time of year. it doesnt feel like christmas was a week ago.. it came and went so fast. but, im happy because for the first time in a few years, i actually enjoyed christmas. i was also able to appreciate the week off from school because it was badly needed. atleast i got to spend it with people worth seeing.. even if i am still exhausted.
heres to a good year.. hopefully.
aL
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| i think that was the longest break i've ever taken from xanga. after a while, i didn't really miss it either. but for some reason, i feel the need to write in here.
i can't recap the last few months because that would take so long. but the summer was amazing, even though it went by too fast.. as usual. this summer opened my eyes to so many different things and new experiences. i fell in love with late nights, but i know that if i pulled some of those late nights now, during school, i wouldn't survive the day. i met so many incredible people who i miss insanely.. all those kids from syracuse. im so proud of myself for taking advantage of that opportunity to "spread my wings" so-to-speak and try something new. i had more fun than i ever thought i would.
im somewhat settled now that school is back into its normal routine. i like most of my classes right now which helps keep my attention span. ive gotten used to the fact that im now a senior because aside from my friends, i think ive had enough of prep. im ready for college.. atleast right now i am.
today was a beautiful day. the weather made it feel like summer again, and so did my spontaneous coffee run with katy. afterschool, we went to dunkin donuts for iced coffees, and just sat there talking about everything. i live for moments like that.. where you have nowhere else to be and everything is the way its supposed to be.
"there's a part of me that dies when you turn away your eyes. i'm alive but not inside. and you know all i wanted was your love.."
aL
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| no more xanga.. atleast for now.
aL
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| yeah, so..
happy birthday to me.
aL
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| i should be studying for my math final and reading huckleberry, but obviously im not. today was a good day. overall, the past few days have been good days.. and not just because of the weather. ive been doing a lot of studying lately, which makes me crazy. along with finals, its also time for season finales. they bother me. theyre supposed to leave you hanging and they do a good job of that. but they always manage to be close to depressing.
i feel like ive been looking for things in my life and im having trouble finding them. im not sure what they are, but id kill to find them, just so i can stop looking.. if that makes sense.
my birthday is on tuesday. i remember when it was january and i felt like my birthday would never come. but its almost here, and i dont feel as excited as i should be. a good thing about birthdays is that the friends who i dont normally get to see or hang out with come out of the "woodwork" to celebrate with me. woot.
i need some time for myself. i feel like ive been running around, trying to get things done, and i feel like i have barely had time to breathe. i even rush when im taking a shower because theres always something else i have to do. i havent taken my walks. and i barely make phone calls.. or write.
i feel like going to a backstreet boy concert.. to remind me of the "old days," like middle school and silly crushes and trips upstate and when college was just something that i heard about in movies.
"through these eyes, ive seen a thousand lies, and its taken years to realize that nothing stays the same, and no one is to blame. but id do it all again.."
aL
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